Christy The Writer

Some words of wisdom from New Jersey Transit’s web site. Please make a note of this, and tell your friends and co-workers, okay? It is really that important:  ”The way to avoid being hit by a train is to stay out of its way.” I know, right? I shudder to think how many times I’ve [...]

Fabulous James and I were discussing things that annoy us. I said I hate it when people call my office phone and, when I don’t answer, immediately call my cell. James said he can’t stand it when men at the dance clubs jump up on the speakers and start voguing. Clearly life hands James and me [...]

My friend Chris has a very opinionated, and unintentionally hilarious, three-year-old. She and her husband had a wine tasting party the other night and her son walked into the room and announced, “This party stunked.”

Is it my imagination, or is the quality of e-mail spam getting worse? This morning I had one in my inbox that was from “Lottery Winner.” The subject line was CONGRATULATION!! CONGRATULATION!!!!” Honey, you already told me YOU are the lottery winner. You should keep those congratulation for yourself.

I finally finished my student loan paperwork for grad school, only to get it all back in my lap because I neglected to mention that I’m a female. Apparently there are a lot of 41-year-old men out there named Christine who are trying to give the slip to the Selective Service.

They had my iced chai soy latte ready and waiting for me at  Starbucks this morning. It’s nice to be loved.

I bounded outside early this morning for my run, anticipating that first breath of fresh morning air. Unfortunately, that was the moment the garbage truck rumbled through the already 80-degree, humid neighborhood, and instead I got a breath of air that smelled like sour ass. Gonna be a loooong week.

When snacking on fresh cherries, make sure the cute dude at the next desk can actually see the bag before you turn to him with a big, inviting smile and say “Want a cherry?”

I was walking through downtown Newark just now and as I was waiting to cross the street, a truck driver motioned for me to get out of the way. I was standing on the sidewalk, several inches from the curb, but I stepped back anyway and he proceeded to drive over the curb and turn the [...]

Me: “Would you put the-” Guy (from the other room): “Yeah.” And yes, he was right.