14
August
Jackie forwarded me something she found on the Web – a list of five secrets you should keep from your significant other. She couldn’t believe there were only five. I disagreed more with the content itself. One of them said you should never admit that you’re attracted to a co-worker – instead you should pretend all [...]
2
August
Jackie is a native of New Jersey. I’m a native of the Midwest. I’m now living in Jersey. She’s now living in the Midwest. Our phone conversations usually go something like this. Jackie: “We had a tornado warning today. Are you homesick?” Me: “They found a body in the trunk of a Mercedes parked behind [...]
26
January
Jackie’s baby said “Mama” this weekend. We are so excited! Jackie because it’s her baby’s first word, and me because I know it’s now only a matter of time before she begins turning that into actual sentences, like “Mama, I really admire Auntie Christy’s stance on animal rights and environmental sustainability. Can I go tree-sit with [...]
5
January
OH SURE. Jackie’s baby does this and everyone’s all “How cute! How adorable!” But when I do it, everyone’s all “Oh blah blah blah, rehab!”
18
September
My friend Jackie bought something called a Bumbo seat for her baby. They allow the wobbly kid to sit up but without the danger of falling out of the chair, which is something I understand parents are generally against. Personally, I think they need to make these things in adult sizes and market them to [...]
29
July
Jackie sent me an e-mail forward today urging me to join the ASPCA and “help fight animal cruelty.” I want the record to show that Jackie owns Peanut. This is Peanut. He is, I can only assume, their poster child.
17
June
Jackie’s baby is here! This is Marianne – she was born Sunday night. Sunday afternoon, Jackie and Adam took Peanut to the emergency vet because he was having trouble breathing, and in the midst of that, they had a car accident which sent Jackie into labor. As she put it to me the next morning, “Now [...]