31

January

Jackie has the cutest pet name for me: “Butthead Democrat.”

30

January

Top Ten Discoveries that Lead Me to Weight Watchers: 10. Mayonnaise on white bread 9. Deep fried pickle chips 8. Fluffernutters 7. Sugar on tomato slices 6. Cheese in a spray can 5. Stale Peeps 4. That my niece doesn’t ever want her chocolate Halloween candy 3. Imported beer 2. Raw cookie dough. In a [...]

29

January

If there’s one thing Doug can’t stand, it’s people who aren’t multitasking to the point of a nervous breakdown. He just can’t relate. It irritates him to no end, for example, that the security guards in our building sit at the guard desk and play solitare on the computer. He wants them to be “doing something.” Fix global warming, [...]

28

January

This is my side of the bathroom sink.  This is Guy’s side of the bathroom sink. I wonder if there’s a connection between this and the fact that it takes me three and a half hours to get out of the house in the morning, while it takes Guy seven minutes.

26

January

New rule: The person who is driving the car that is first in line at the stop light must be paying attention when the light changes. Otherwise I get to go up to their car and smack them in the forehead.

26

January

Dr. Dan heard that I am showcasing his chalkboard drawings on my blog and threatened me with a cease and desist order, then proceeded to make that absolutely impossible for me to do by drawing this squirrel. (Please note the fluffy tail.)

25

January

Roughly $1,457 worth of cat toys in this house and I just found Harry batting around a piece of zucchini.

23

January

I saw in the news today that the chairman of Schwan’s is being inducted into the Frozen Food Hall of Fame. Maybe it’s just me, but I think the bigger news is that there even is a Frozen Food Hall of Fame.

22

January

Last night in yoga class, the instructor watched me for a moment, then turned to the rest of the class and said, “There. Did you all see that? That’s exactly what I don’t want you to do.”

22

January

My communications professor and advisor, the inimitable Dr. Dan, prides himself on the chalkboard drawings he creates to accompany his lectures. And justifiably so. Here we see his most recent illustration of a screaming woman pushing a baby carriage: