31
March
I’m going to make my first million by inventing a computer that does what I mean, not what I say.
31
March
I have made a late New Year’s Resolution, and one that I think merits sharing, since you will no doubt want to make the same one. I resolve to never go around saying I used to be a model, then let someone take a picture like this of me:
30
March
Okay, I need a favor from you. Please go to www.humor-blogs.com, do a search for Christy the Writer and click on it. That will just bring you back here, but you’ve increased my ranking. And that kind of electronic affirmation is important to people like me. Thanks! Smoochies!
28
March
I went to a meeting last night held in a grade school auditorium. As I was waiting in the hallway for my companion, I was studying the student artwork on the wall and I noticed this masterpiece. I can only read enough of it to know that the artist is obviously a budding feminist who found [...]
25
March
I saw in the news today that some guy in Australia is building a replica of Stonehenge “to attract tourists.” Evidently all you have to do is get yourself some random, large oddity and then charge people to look at it. Cool! I have a brother-in-law who’s gonna make me a millionaire.
25
March
A lesson I learned on the way to work this morning: The worse the hair, the worse the driver.
24
March
I am creative. Guy is logical. That’s not to say that he isn’t creative or that I’m not capable of rational thought, but it gives you the necessary insight into our personalities to enable you to understand the following exchange that took place recently while we were in the car: Me: How come when my [...]
24
March
It never, ever fails. If there’s a truck bigger than a pickup on the road in front of me, it’s going to send a rock flying into my windshield. Every. Friggin. Time. This morning I was on the Garden State Parkway and there was a dump truck two cars ahead of me. It sent a [...]
20
March
Everyone at my office has been discussing the news story about the woman who was stuck, for a long time, to a toilet seat. Her boyfriend is now facing charges of mistreatment. First of all, YES, they are from my home state. And yes, I’m proud, dammit. But what strikes me the most about this [...]