Christy The Writer

I just read this sentence at the top of a form that landed on my desk from the corporate office: “During the recent controllers’ meeting, it was determined that we should request this form for corporations in order to make sure their name is really what it is.”

On the way to work this morning I saw another Dennis Kucinich for President bumper sticker. I was so excited that I tried to speed up and get ahead of her so she could see mine and we could have a touching moment of solidarity. But I couldn’t get past her no matter how hard I [...]

I have a friend who is getting married soon, and she asked me to tell her what marriage is really like. Looking into those innocent eyes, I had no choice but to tell her the brutal truth – the ugly side of Guy that no one else can see: Just this morning I walked across [...]

My friend Shyla says when she needs a breather during day, she comes here to see what’s new on my blog. I’m a human coffee break? That’s a lot of pressure, man.

You can pick your real friends out of the crowd by their ability to give it to you straight. Me: I’m leaving for my weigh-in at Weight Watchers now. Nikki (with sincere sympathy): Oh no! And you’ve been eating like a pig all day!

From Hallmark’s new “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” line …

There are still so many things I don’t understand. Like why really jerky people almost always have nice spouses, why a microwave that’s blinking PRESS START drives me nuts, or why I often find myself singing “Thunder Island” at the top of my lungs when I’m alone in my car.

I saw this disturbing headline in today’s news: Algebra camp great idea That is just wrong on so many levels.

So I’m 39 today. Someone asked if I feel old, but how I can feel old when I’m the age everyone who is older than me pretends to be? I’m 39 FOR REAL, baby!

It’s the New Jersey Create-Your-Own-Lane Program! Get on board! Every man for himself! Woo hoooooooo!