Christy The Writer

I’ll be offline for a few days while I’m back in Kansas visiting the kinfolk. I will see you all back here in 2009. I’ll be starting a new category I think you’ll like, and you know those quotes that are always appearing at the top of the page? You’ll be able to get any of [...]

I’ve spent the day watching it snow from the window of my writing room. New Jersey traffic is amazing in the snow – it’s like shooting a tranquilizer dart into a wild boar: it’s still angry, just a lot slower.

The receipt from Wal-Mart says “We’d love to hear about your shopping experience at Wal-Mart today!” Somehow I doubt that.

I was feeling cute and perky when I started flirting with the young guy working the drive thru at Taco Bell tonight. He gave me a sweeping head-to-toe glance, smiled sweetly … then called me “ma’am” and ruined the whole thing.

My Blackberry remembers words I use a lot and suggests them when I start typing certain letters. I suspect anyone observing this process could learn a lot about me from the words it suggests the most often: jerk, gaudy, weepy, butterfly, tambourine, leggings and Cheez Whiz.

The man in the office next to mine talks in a very loud voice when he’s on the phone. It gets interesting when he’s talking about any kind of sensitive issue, because he makes a point of closing his office door - and talking even louder.

I have been collecting photos of women who are in their 40s and still look fantastic, as I mentally prepare for my own milestone birthday. Doug, unaware of what I was doing, looked over my shoulder at a picture of Brooke Shields and said, “God, she looks old.” I’m just going to start a betting pool [...]

I just came back from the drugstore, where they are having a “holiday sale” of 50 cents off my favorite brand of toothpaste, and the liquor store, where I listened to an interminably long Muzak version of “Frosty the Snowman” while waiting in line to buy a six-pack of Sam Adams Winter Lager. Is it just [...]

Courtesy of two friends and one lousy day, another illustration in my ongoing attempt to explain the difference between how men and women communicate: Keeli said: “Of course you’re upset, honey. You’re exhausted and overwhelmed. Women are like a Ming vase. Beautiful, strong, able to command attention in a room. But tip us too far and we [...]

I figured out a foolproof way to get a red light to change: start trying to send a text message.