Christy The Writer

I just got back from having a wisdom tooth out. I notice dentists only have two descriptions for pain that feels like they are backing a tractor over your face: “a little pinch” and “some pressure.”  

Oh how I miss Kansas weather. Especially those spring snowfalls. Yeah, that’s their truck…    

Eavesdropping on the Happy Kass Family: Me: “Randy Newman is my Muse.” Guy: “He is not.” Me: “And who are you to tell me that Randy Newman isn’t my Muse?”  

Confidential to the creepy guy talking to himself while I was the only other person in the elevator tonight: Ew.  

You know how Word will correct your spelling mistakes as you’re typing? I need to find someone to do that for me in real life – just follow me around going “That’s not actually what she meant…”  

I got word this morning that my wonderful Uncle Henry has died. It’s only fitting that I pay tribute to him here – he was one of the funniest people I know. He was quick with a smile, loved to laugh and taught me early in my life that you don’t have to be dirty to [...]

I saw in the news today that Six Flags Over Texas is going to start serving beer. Hey, why not. There’s nothing better to do with a bunch of drunk Texans than stick them on a Tilt-A-Whirl.  

iTunes is really starting to honk me off. I mean, sometimes a person just wants to buy “I Like Dreamin’ ” and they want to get it by Kenny Nolan, as it should be, instead of by someone named Leslie Cheung, who I don’t know but instantly got on my bad side by insisting on pronouncing the “g” in [...]

I’m making tofu kebabs for dinner tonight. This is generally around the time that Guy calls to tell me he’ll be home late because he has to get some work done. In Albany.  

You know what I don’t understand? Well, lots of things, but what I don’t understand at the moment is how it is that my days are so jammed-packed that they absolutely fly by … except that one hour before lunch, when I keep looking at the clock and thinking, “Is it too early to eat? [...]