Christy The Writer

Am I the only one who is now looking sideways at everyone around me, wondering if they might be a Russian spy? As if I didn’t already find everyone else’s life more exciting than mine …

I decided ages ago that my life as a writer would reach its apex if I could only interview my idol, my role model, my Muse, my literary fantasy made flesh, Philip Roth. Unfortunately, he is notoriously hard to get interviews with, so I have spent the last two years skulking around the outer fringes [...]

I bounded outside early this morning for my run, anticipating that first breath of fresh morning air. Unfortunately, that was the moment the garbage truck rumbled through the already 80-degree, humid neighborhood, and instead I got a breath of air that smelled like sour ass. Gonna be a loooong week.

I need to get a dog. I like dogs, but mostly I just want the excuse. ”Ooh, sorry I can’t make it, I can’t leave the dog alone that long.”

When I was in my early 20s, I wrote in my journal “I love humanity. I love the surges of people around me, knowing we’re all in this together, we’re all one on this big, beautiful planet that we share.” Last night, I wrote “MAN I just wish everyone would get out of my SPACE.”

So I’m doing a cleanse right now. Just fruits and vegetables and whole grains, a little lean protein, nothing too drastic. I know there are more intense cleanses out there, but when I try one of them, I end up craving pink lemonade, laughing at street lamps and quoting random Allmon Brothers lyrics to strangers [...]

I just took several boxes of books to the thrift shop, but now I’m thinking I should have gone through them one more time first. I mean, I’ve heard if you’re not careful, the whole world will find out it’s your dream of dreams to become Mrs. Desi Arnaz Junior.

When snacking on fresh cherries, make sure the cute dude at the next desk can actually see the bag before you turn to him with a big, inviting smile and say “Want a cherry?”

Gary Coleman’s ex-wife has an agent? Seriously? My God, I am definitely doing something wrong.

So the latest thing I’m into are these Lowfat Organic Probiotic Strawberry Smoothies from Trader Joe’s. I remember when I used to have fun, daring addictions that didn’t involve the health of my colon.