Christy The Writer

There’s one week left ’til Christmas

And in all the areas of my life

Not one single thing is finished.

I am one very sorry wife.

The light strings are all tangled up

In one big messy heap

I could go buy some new ones,

But I’m just way too cheap.

There are garlands on my banisters

But I can’t make them stay.

They’ve slithered down onto the floor

And now they’re in my way.

I’ve tried to start my baking

But my cookies won’t get done

Because I eat the cookie dough

Ton by metric ton.

The tree is bare and empty

And lacking Christmas cheer

Since I can’t find the ornaments

I put away last year.

My poinsettias are wilted,

My angels look forlorn.

It seems as though they know I’m not

prepared for Christmas morn.

I’ve hung a sprig of mistletoe,

but something’s still amiss.

There’s so much going on here,

I just don’t have time to kiss.

I suppose I could relax

With a hot bath and some tea

And read a magazine about women

Much more organized than me.

Or I guess I could go out

And buy some Christmas presents.

But parking lots these days? Come on.

They’re really not that pleasant.

Besides, it’s hard to shop

When you don’t know what to buy.

For my husband? Father? Uncle?

The worst is buying for a guy.

There are stacks of Christmas cards

To be written, stamped and sent,

But I think my friends all moved away

And I’m not sure where they went.

I finally bought a ticket

To fly home and see my kin

But I won’t be there an hour

When aggravation will set in.

I’ve told myself that this year

Maybe, yes, just maybe

I won’t be asked a million times

When I’m going to have a baby.

And I’ll get to see my Grandma

Whose favorite thing to do

Is feed me fudge and then ask

If I’ve put on a pound or two.

If someone asks me what I want

For this year’s Christmas gift,

I think I’ll ask for one more month

To be more ready and less miffed.

When I was a little girl

The wait for Christmas seemed a year.

Now it bolts right out in front of me

Like those annoying deer.

But when the rush is over,

There’s still no time to play

Since I’ll be vacuuming up tinsel

Until Columbus Day.